Dicing with Delhi (2)

Today's entry is all about the things that have made my time here less than enjoyable at times: the 'Thorns'.

1). DELHI – despite what I said yesterday living here is occasionally quite tough, although the culture shock is starting to diminish. It’s a cliché, but unfortunately Delhi is invariably an assault on the senses, as well as bleakly depressing at times. The constant blare of horns, streets strewn with litter and human waste, the stench from street-corner public urinals, countless numbers of beggars and dispossessed…for someone accustomed to living in such genteel, affluent places as Edinburgh and Tunbridge Wells, living in a city seemingly with little charm or subtlety has been wearing at times. I would recommend Rana Dasgupta’s ‘Capital: A Portrait of Twenty-First Century Delhi’ – a scathing, sobering critique of contemporary Delhi high society and the role of 20 years of economic and cultural liberalisation in widening the yawning gap between the ‘haves’ and ‘have-nots’. Being able to go away on trips fairly frequently has stopped me going stir-crazy in this intense city of 22 million people. 

A domestic workshop in Old Delhi

2). THE WEATHER - This year’s damp squib of a monsoon has also made life fairly grim at times. I arrived in forty-degree heat in mid-July and experienced Delhi's hottest August days in nearly a quarter of a century. Feeling like you’re sweating spinal fluid and about to melt into a sorry puddle, whilst trying to haggle with surly auto-rickshaw drivers or negotiate your way through the bureaucracy, is not exactly a barrel of laughs. It’s starting to cool down now, but anywhere in the mid-to-low thirties is still the norm.

A rare sight this summer

3). THE BUREAUCRACY – Against such an array of dull-minded, risk-averse minions and jobsworths, progress here is often measured in half-steps. Having a sense of humour and knowing that the bureaucracy and ‘Indian Stretchable Time’ (the word ‘punctuality’ doesn't seem to exist here) are partners-in-crime helps, but there were certainly times that tried my soul. Even in such a prestigious institution as Delhi University, everything is still done on paper. Considering the huge pool of IT talent in India, the lack of a centralised university web portal is incredible - creating one would probably make a lot of jobs (even more) redundant, so it's easy to see why things are the way they are. Having to prove multiple times and in various ways to the history department, Gwyer Hall, the International Students House etc that I was a genuine exchange student and not just a white guy here for shits and giggles was not something I'll look back on with any affection though. 

4). UNIVERSITY – a tad disappointing. While the course content is certainly interesting enough (all Indian history) the mode of delivery is exclusively lectures. Very little interaction with the teachers over an hour and fifty minutes - assuming they turn up on time, or at all - makes for some fairly monotonous sessions at times. I'm only assessed through essays assigned throughout the semester, not end-of-semester exams, which is something to be grateful for though. As my fellow exile from Edinburgh Paddy said, it would be such a waste if we were chained to the library by too much work, so an undemanding schedule is probably a bonus overall.

5). HEALTH – although I've only been seriously ill once (a fairly messy bout of Delhi belly for a day), I feel as if my time here so far has probably had a detrimental effect on my health. Adjusting to life in Delhi and the heat has made lengthy exercise almost impossible until recently. When it’s nearly forty degrees and a rickshaw can get to you to university or the local shopping district for 30 rupees (basically 30 pence), the prospect of walking doesn't seem that appealing. The horrific pollution hasn't done me many favours either. The World Health Organisation claims that Delhi’s air pollution levels are the worst globally, easily surpassing Beijing. I'm planning on doing the Delhi Half-Marathon in November, so hopefully having something tangible to focus on will help me get fitter. 

A rack of kebabs in Nizamuddin village

Despite these problems, I'm certainly glad I chose to spend a year of my life in Delhi. I like to think of each challenge, when viewed in hindsight, as character-building, something that future employers might be interested to hear about as I try to desperately convince them this year-abroad lark wasn't just a massive holiday.

So, what does the future hold? Thanks to India’s predilection for public holidays (due to the country’s many disparate religious communities and secular foundations) and a mid-semester break, October’s going to be a great month: 12 days in the south-eastern state of Kerala, celebrating my 21^st on a houseboat, 10 days in the city of Lucknow and Nepal, celebrating Diwali and gorging on Indian sweets with my friend Shiv and his family, and just one week of lectures. Can’t really complain!

Finally, just to show how frequently India has confounded my preconceptions, here’s one more anecdote for now. In order to become a legal resident of India, I had to register my visa within two weeks of arriving or face being chucked out. Arriving at the registration office, I braced myself for a day of mind-numbing tedium. However, after a relatively painless few hours, the end was in sight. Handing my passport over one more time, I was amazed to hear the guy behind the desk break into a rendition of ‘Jingle Bells’, before giving it an Indian twist second time round  – a definite improvement. Seeing my puzzled expression he said, ‘You’re Nicholas, right? Father Christmas? Maybe you can come round to my house at Christmas dressed as Santa.’ A few minutes later, I was free to live in India. In the most unlikely of settings, Christmas had come early. Alvida!

Dicing with Delhi

How to encapsulate two and a half months of life in such a weird and wonderful place as Delhi? The demands of settling in (as well as laziness) have relegated this whole blog thing to the back of my mind until recently. I'm going to use the ‘Roses and Thorns’ method as taught by my Canadian friend Chris – the ‘Roses’ are the highlights, the ‘Thorns’ the lowlights. Fairly self-explanatory. This first post will be all about the ‘Roses’, in no particular order. Tomorrow’s will be the ‘Thorns’. Here goes…

Gwyer Hall - spent a happy 2 months living here

1). THE FOOD – I’ll admit that the first McDonalds I had here, 2 weeks in, was glorious; globalisation never tasted so sweet. The array of distinctive cuisines on offer in Delhi is something else though. From the mouth-watering seekh kebabs which have been served up at Karim’s in the heart of Old Delhi for over a hundred years, to the south Indian vegetarian thalis (a mound of rice served on a steel tray and surrounded by various spicy pickles and chutneys), to the cheap yet delicious street food… blandness and uniformity are not words that can ever describe the food here. Even the goat’s brain curry I had to eat after losing a game of ‘Odds-On’ was better than expected – slightly slimy texture and an odd taste, but still nowhere near as bad as sour lassi (basically a drink made from yoghurt). As disgusting as it sounds! 

2). FRIENDS/THE PEOPLE – too many friends, both Indian and Western, to mention. Needless to say, life here would have been a lost less interesting, enlightening and enjoyable without them.  Having white skin makes you catnip for the locals; while many are content just to ask where I'm from and what I'm doing, some encounters have been more amusing and bizarre. Whilst visiting one of the most sacred shrines in Sufism in Delhi, one man, after finding out that I was British, immediately asked if I could help him set up a business in the UK. The amount he was assuming about me (that I knew anything about the intricacies of starting up a business, that I was clearly trustworthy enough to be his business partner etc.) was just incredible. Just one example of how differently Indians sometimes go about interacting with other people!

Paddy and Toby kite-flying in Shri Ram College

Kite-flying on the rooftops of Old Delhi

3). DELHI – If you look hard enough and try not to get too ground down by some of the things happening around you (see tomorrow’s post), Delhi is a great place to live, and I’ve found numerous places to while away a happy afternoon or evening with friends. I’ll be dedicating an entire post to Delhi itself, so watch this space! In the meantime, I recommend William Dalrymple’s ‘City of Djinns’ for anyone wanting to learn more about Delhi. It offers an accessible history of the city, interspersed with often humorous and insightful anecdotes about his time living there for a year. Even though it was only published a mere twenty years ago it’s already quite dated, thanks to the incredible pace of change in Delhi society. Definitely worth a read though.

4). THE WILDLIFE – The only time I ever saw peacocks back home was in the grounds of stately houses and castles. Here I've seen them on the roof of the university’s health centre, contentedly basking in a glorious sunset. Monkeys are a daily fact of life here, and my attempts to commune with them, à la David Attenborough, have been a mixed success; I won’t forget being chased by one in a local park in a hurry – carrying a cane or rock is the locals’ solution! They’re great fun to watch from a distance though, particularly the younger ones. My favourite wildlife moment so far was seeing an elephant walking down a main street near where I live, blissfully oblivious to the chaos it was causing behind it. No doubt India’s many bureaucrats (more on them tomorrow) would have been inspired by such a scene.

Even the squirrels are more interesting here.

5). TRAVELLING - Thanks to an undemanding university schedule and numerous public holidays, I've managed to visit Nainital, Shimla (both hill stations), Agra and the Kathmandu valley in Nepal since I arrived in India. Again, I’ll write about these trips in greater length in another post.

Finally, as I'm not taking this too seriously, I'm going to introduce an ‘Idiot Abroad’ section to end each post. There were lots of moments to choose from, but the clear winner was my wardrobe malfunction in the first week or so here. Having sat down with friends in a café, I was told by staff to pull my trousers up. Not exactly in Janet Jackson’s league, but context is everything. This happened in Nirula's, a fast food restaurant frequented by sweaty, clueless westerners such as me and Indian teenagers, so not exactly a fixture on Delhi’s elite dining circuit. Imagine being told to pipe down in Greggs because you’re disturbing the ambience, and you might realise how ridiculous yet embarrassing this was.

That’s all for today. For anyone who was waiting for this (probably just family members) hope it was worth the wait, and feedback would be appreciated. Alvida!